Speaking of accomplishments: let’s talk about this question! Something many ladies will be asked in their lifetime…Will you be my Bridesmaid?

 

I am so proud to be a woman in this modern world where marriage and babies is happening a while after education and careers. I am 29 years old and I have had the pleasure of being a bridesmaid only 2x so far and also Maid of Honor 1X for my one and only twin sister.

Although these numbers for some may be a lot higher, I am confident I have some helpful ideas and tips and tricks for anyone being asked this question. This Question is also one to be considered over…are you seeing anyone?

Perhaps a woman is currently a bridesmaid or maid of honor and very busy with the exciting events that go along with that commitment.

So Here we go:

Will you be my bridesmaid?

An important thing to consider when being asked ‘will you be my bridesmaid?’ is what this commitment will mean. First, take into account what this will require financially. Be open and honest with your friend about her plans and decide as soon as you can if this is something you can handle in your budget. Also, consider the title over the attention. Speaking as someone who has only been a bridesmaid or maid of honor and never a bride I have seen women who get excited to be a bridesmaid and forget what they are saying yes to…being a maid, or being someone in the service of a bride. You are agreeing to, of course within respectful reason, to being a maid for a bride as she prepares for the biggest day of her life. Be there. Be agreeable. Be kind. Be patient. Be a stress reliever and not a stressor.

Communication is also key. The future bride has more family and friends. Not just you. You are going to have to speak and be kind to many other ladies. This is what you are agreeing to. Just keep all of these things in mind when answering the question and throughout your bridesmaid experience.

The first wedding I was asked this question was for a long-time friend from my time as a waitress. I was very honored to be a bridesmaid for my friend and I am also appreciative of her kind and patient temperament because in all honesty, with this first experience, I did not know much…at all! However, I think I knew pretty well what this title meant and did my very best throughout this process to honor the title. I attended the planning meetings, purchased my dress, supported at the bridal shower, communicated with other bridesmaids, and cut a rug at the wedding. Pretty certain: mission accomplished.

But truly, the role I learned all I know now was being my twin sister’s maid of honor for her January 2019 wedding. Admittedly, I am certain I did not know one thing about being a maid of honor before this experience. But one day at a time I figured it out. And I loved it. However, I intend for this to be my one and only time as maid of honor so I figured sharing what I learned with other ladies could be a good idea.

Some Tips and Tricks:

  1. Make a To-Do List. Lists are my favorite thing to make so for me, this came easy!
  2. Think of thoughtful ideas in advance. You are going to want to give your sister or best friend thoughtful touches, but these must be planned ahead of time.
  3. Communicate with the bridal party and consider two things: sending a few (longer) updates through email over the course of planning and consider who knows who and sending smaller group chats through text to have better and more effective conversations.
  4. Plan the Bridal Shower and Bachelorette and 100% communicate with the bride about her wishes and plan small ways to surprise her, but in my opinion the locations and larger details need to be a shared decision.
  5. When it comes to the shower, this will vary depending on your relationship with the bride but be organized and clear on assigning responsibilities and on your expectations for $$$.
  6. When it comes to the Bachelorette see above. Also, one of my favorite things for my sister’s Bachelorette was our T-shirts. I had a connection with another Bridesmaid for the design and creation and I ordered quality shirts from Target.com. I also communicated with the Bridal Party well in advance about sizes and interest to make sure this was a good idea. So always consider who your resources are and who can help you with different things and communication is key, especially when you plan to ask for $$$.
  7. Day Of: Do your best to be present and supportive and excited! The last thing a bride needs on her big day is a maid of honor or bridesmaid who is down or frazzled. Keep it together and take deep breaths and remind everyone to smile!
  8. Be prepared and willing to dance! Practice your moves, have a cocktail, and be fully prepared to be the life of the party!
  9. At the end of the night, lend a helping hand. Do not let the bride forget anything she brought from home or the hotel and see if anything needs to be packed or carried out from the venue.
  10. Finally, text the bride the next day or a couple days later and let her know how wonderful the day was and you hope she and her new husband have a wonderful first week as husband and wife.

If you find any of these tips and tricks helpful, this post was more than worth my time!

As I complete this post I have just celebrated the wedding of one of my best friends and my second time being a bridesmaid. This experience, for me, felt just as wonderful as the others. I really have this feeling inside during these celebrations that standing beside my best friends and sister on their wedding day was and is a role I was born to have. It has only been an honor to help these ladies marry the men of their dreams. I hope some of my tips and tricks have been helpful for you and I wish us all love and happiness in our journeys.

In summary, Will You Be My Bridesmaid? is a question most women will be asked in their lifetimes and it is a role we should and will take very seriously. Ladies, consider what it means when you say YES to this question and society, consider asking us how things are going with this important role.

Thank you, as always, for reading.

XOXO

J

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